Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Ups and Downs

People keep telling me that I should expect good days and bad days, but I'm not a huge fan of the bad days. I haven't really had one in a few weeks so I suppose I'm entitled, but I'd really rather not.

Last night I had trouble falling asleep and felt lonely and anxious to just have a new guy in my life. I wonder if I'm missing out on this whole rebound thing. It could be fun, but I almost feel like I'm too old and too rational. Last night I found myself missing my senior year of college social life, no strings, no expectations.

Today I even miss T a little. Then I remember how awful that was most of the time and remember how much better off I am. I think I mostly miss the idea of him. It's so strange that I have a these major things going on in my life, and he has no idea. It's not so much that I want to call him and him, it's just strange. Don't get me wrong, I'm still confident that cutting him out of my life completely brought me more peace than I could have anticipated.

So there we are.

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