Thursday, February 6, 2014


Here’s where my mind has been recently: I’m really glad that whole national news story with T hasn’t blown up. There is still an opportunity for that to happen, but so far I haven’t seen his face on the opening credits of the Today show when I’m running late to work. I don’t like how I’ve been thinking about him more lately. He apparently proposed to his girlfriend which has been difficult to digest. I wasn’t even allowed to discuss our future after 5+ years, but go ahead, propose to someone you just started dating. I’ve caught myself thinking of ways to anonymously torture him, not sure why. 

I didn’t want to online date in November/December because I felt like it would be a bunch of weirdos who were anxious to have a significant other by Christmas. I can channel my gift giving energies into my friends and family thankyouverymuch. Now, I’m worried the same thing is happening with Valentine’s Day. I haven’t liked V-day since I got dumped on Valentine’s day 1999. People get crazy this time of year. It’s not a real holiday, stop judging yourself! My bff and I decided to make it a friends holiday several years ago and have roped her wife into the mix. This year I even got their 3 dogs a gift, because I was in Target and they were selling treats in heart shaped boxes. Anyway, I’m hesitant to even consider online dating for the next two weeks for that reason alone. I’m really feeling like my last 3 experiences online were so terrible and made me feel so badly about myself, that I’d really rather not do it again, but how am I supposed to meet someone? 

Which brings me to my final topic: How am I supposed to meet someone? As a person who likes to plan ahead and account for possible future scenarios, who doesn’t like uncertainty so much so that she nearly failed her pass/fail class “Decision Making in Times of Uncertainty”, I don’t like this waiting thing. I know, I know, it happens when you least expect it, blah blah blah. I’m not the kind of girl who reads the last page of the book first (that never made sense to me) or reads spoilers, but I want to know how this journey will end. I am really trying to focus on just polishing myself up, and working on my confidence, I am. I believe God has a plan for me, and “he” is out there somewhere, but I find myself filling my spare time with women’s networking groups and the Boys & Girls Club….which aren’t exactly hot spots for single, age appropriate men. We’ll see how the story develops I think it helps for me to word vomit here on occasion, I hope to start posting more soon.

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