When I re-entered the dating world over a year ago, I discovered the horrors of "Dick Pics". I had always operated under the Seinfeld theory of Good Naked (women) and Bad Naked (men). And it's not like I don't like male parts, I just don't need them eye-raping me on my phone. This infographic cracked me up.
Showing posts with label epic fail. Show all posts
Showing posts with label epic fail. Show all posts
Tuesday, May 20, 2014
Wednesday, September 18, 2013
Just when you think you're in the clear...
So what's really funny about a break up after a long term relationship is just when you think you've completely cleared every aspect of that person out of your life and are on your merry way, something totally random catches you off guard. See email to my mom below:
Subject: I need my own sitcom...for serious
"Do you live up in B*****?"
"Oh.....well....so that would be my ex-boyfriend.....this is awkward....I'll give you his number"
"Ok, I'm really sorry about that. Your name must have been on the form from 2011."
"Omg....gross...warranty claim? I don't want to know"
(laughing) "I'm sorry about that."
"Call T....(number)"
"Ok, I''ll tell him you said hi." (laughs)
(laughs) "Yeah, no thank you. I'm sure this will crack up your co-workers later."
So now I'm stuck with all this mental imagery regarding T and his bed. No thank you! I'm just hoping it was the dog's fault....(Side note: I think I was replaced by a golden retriever).
File this under "things that only happen to me"
Subject: I need my own sitcom...for serious
Got a call from Sleepy's
yesterday to say my mattress would be delivered by 2:15. I figured it
was a wrong number somehow and ignored it.
Today the driver called me to be like "hey, i'm here." So I said, well that's my number but I didn't order a mattress.
Then! I get a call for (my full name mispronounced) about how they need to release the driver if I don't show up at my front door soon for this mattress. So I called back.
I said "Well I'm really confused because I've never purchased a mattress from you." Today the driver called me to be like "hey, i'm here." So I said, well that's my number but I didn't order a mattress.
Then! I get a call for (my full name mispronounced) about how they need to release the driver if I don't show up at my front door soon for this mattress. So I called back.
So now I'm stuck with all this mental imagery regarding T and his bed. No thank you! I'm just hoping it was the dog's fault....(Side note: I think I was replaced by a golden retriever).
File this under "things that only happen to me"

Monday, July 22, 2013
Funny
Just a quick one. This article cracked me up. Every so often, I think about how I would react if I ran into T. I'm pretty sure I'd say "hi" and walk away. The "hi" would come out as if I just got surprised by something crazy and I'm not sure if it's a good thing.
My sister confessed to me this weekend that she'd like 5 minutes alone with T to tell him off. We agreed it wouldn't really be worth the energy.
Anyway:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/07/22/running-into-your-ex_n_3582280.html?ncid=edlinkusaolp00000003
My sister confessed to me this weekend that she'd like 5 minutes alone with T to tell him off. We agreed it wouldn't really be worth the energy.
Anyway:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/07/22/running-into-your-ex_n_3582280.html?ncid=edlinkusaolp00000003
Monday, October 15, 2012
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