Monday, May 19, 2014


This past weekend I traveled to VA to celebrate my good friend's marriage. She eloped exactly one year ago, but wanted to celebrate with their families for their anniversary. She had also announced to us via email a few weeks ago that they are expecting a baby in November.

Overall, it was a really fun weekend. I was a little anxious about how it would be since I knew I would be spending a lot of non stop time with some of my college friends and I wasn't sure how that would go. It was mostly not dramatic and very fun. 

This might be the first wedding I've been to since right before I moved out on my own. That wedding was super super painful. This wedding was significantly less upsetting but some jealousy did tug at me. I see the way the not-so-new couple look at each other and want that. I don't necessarily want a southern church wedding, but I do crave a devoted husband and baby daddy (same guy, not one of each). I have to have faith that it's all going to happen in due course, but for some reason I feel like I'm running out of time to find the one and get married in my 30s. Then I think "seriously, you're only 31." I'm hoping to get over this sense of urgency soon, but I always have felt that if you want something you should take actions to get it and I'm not taking any actions to find a partner. I think it would be better if I think of being single as getting really comfortable and settled into who I am and what makes me happy, so that I'm ready for a healthy relationship. (I feel like I've said that here before). I'll try to focus on that aspect of my relationship status, but my empty uterus will probably over power my subconscious (I hate that bitch). 

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