So I was watching an old episode of Teen Mom 2 the other night, and Janelle and Barb had a fight that ended in Janelle screaming "LEAVE ME ALONE!!" Then it was playing in my head for the rest of the week. I hate when that happens, but a similar incident inspired me to name my future goldfish Shania and Goldie (story another day). I digress...
So over the weekend while I was running around Manhattan with my mom and sister and decided I was over online dating. It was feeling like a chore. My friend had expressed concern the week before and it was weighing on me. I had quit Plenty of Fish (by quit I mean, stop logging in and deleting the app from my phone) because I had narrowly escaped a second episode of someone sending me a picture of their boy parts. (Side note: wtf) I've been joking with friends that I don't want a relationship, but a friends with benefits; or I've been joking that I want to at least pretend I'm dating someone before they see me naked. The magic of POF had just worn off. The only semi-promising guys would just fade into oblivion or only write back every other day. OKCupid seemed to be going better, the site has more substance to it. I even spoke on the phone with a guy, but it was boring and felt like a shitty job interview. It occurred to me that I really didn't have time to be dating. So, I sort of stopped checking my messages on there. Users can see the last time the person logged in, and I'm on strike. I totally left in the middle of a conversation with a guy that showed promise, but enough is enough. And part of this whole new chapter thing is that I can do whatever I want.
And then, there's this friend of mine from college. We started texting over a week ago. He's already learned my weekly schedule and has been texting me VERY regularly. It would be cute, if I wasn't so sure he was rebounding, or if I was interested like that, or if I didn't feel so smothered. I seem to feel smothered VERY easily. I'm trying to not respond as much aka walking the line between being an elusive bitch and not expressing too much mutual interest.
So that's that. I'm enjoying my "me" time and don't really want someone in the mix just yet. Although, sometimes I feel differently.