Obligatory NYE Post

I haven't been good about blogging lately, I'm not entirely sure it can be blamed on my busy work and school schedule. It might be because I'm in a much better place than I was when I started this blog. It occurred to me that I could read last year's post but that would likely bum me out. 

Moving on....

This is my favorite holiday. I love spending NYE and the days surrounding it with my faux family (my parents' best friends and their kids) and not putting so much pressure on going out and ripping it up. Our typical routine is to hang out, go to the movies and binge eat our favorite foods. Spending NYE in yoga pants is actually pretty awesome. 

My other favorite aspect of this time of year is that I don't have to work and I have a chance to just reflect and re-center myself.  I've been thinking about this past year and how I'm a little disappointed with where I am now. I'm at my heaviest weight and have no love life to speak of. However, I also have a better job than last year and I have one class left in my MBA program. I'm trying to think of 2013 as my "rebuilding year" and 2014 as the year when everything awesome happens. I'm like that football team that had some major injuries in September and didn't make the playoffs, but next season I will be healthy and a major contender.  I don't have a set resolution, but I want to focus on me this year. I think the time to heal and readjust is over and now it is the time to improve. I think if I am happier with myself  (my bank account, the number on the scale, included even through I wish it didn't matter) the positive energy I put out will help the rest of the pieces fall into place. 

So that's my plan for now: work on being more awesome. :-) I'll try to blog more too. 

It's Holiday Season Again.

I just re-read the post I published after last Thanksgiving. I definitely had a migraine for most of the day Thursday and that was miserable, but I am definitely entering this holiday with less trepidation. I think I'm actually excited. I'm a little anxious about the potential family drama but that is par for the course and definitely not related to me being single.

This year it's Thanksgivukkah or however you want to call it. I'm excited to spend Hanukkah with my two little cousins (and their new baby sister) again this year. I can't help but be reminded of where I was this time last year when I flew to Chicago to see them. Really the only thing I miss is the random weight loss from the stress. :)

Just a few things that are semi-related:

1) School and work are cray-cray. I'm really disappointed by one of the classes I'm taking. I'm not sure I learned very much of anything. I probably would have learned more if I just read the Wall Street Journal for several hours a week. I don't think I'm going to get a good grade and I totally had a meltdown about it a few weeks ago. We're talking crying hysterically on the phone while driving from school to my apartment meltdown. It was therapeutic (so my Mom says). Work is always extra crazy this time of year, but there is extra pressure with my new job that makes failure so much worse. However, I did just get an award with my old team, so yay last spring me?

2) It's been over 6 months since I've really dated. It's strange. I want to be dating, but yet don't have the patience for the BS associated with it. I'm trying to focus on the upside of being single in December: only one family to deal with/schedule and avoiding the awkward "how much am I supposed to spend on him?" situation. I hated online dating so much, I'm not sure if I can put myself through it. And soon the age next to my user name will be 31. Maybe my opener should be "I promise I won't get pregnant by accident to try to get you to propose to me within 6 months because my biological clock is ticking!" Seriously, that's what I'd think about a 31 year old woman on a dating site.

3) So last year, I was semi dating someone else but it just didn't work out well and sort of went up in flames. He had blocked me on facebook and gchat, so I was a little surprised to hear from him a few weeks ago via email. He was making small talk, and I responded at first, but ultimately I am not impressed by his latest efforts. My main issue with him is that I wanted to be pursued a little and he wanted to be chased. I don't see how that could have changed, and if it has, I'm going to need more than a subject-less email asking me how I am to prove that he's ready to put in the effort. Also, when we went through our non-break up, he showed a side of himself that I was completely turned off by. Furthermore, two of my best friends don't like him and are opposed to me communicating with him at all. I'm not going to spend more of my life trying to let everyone think that my relationship is amazing. However, I just want to be pursued a little. It'd be nice.

I am, in general, happy. I do really enjoy my job even though it may or may not result in a glass of wine before bed on occasion. I'm almost done with my MBA and I can't wait to have that accomplishment under my belt....and have my life back. I've been gaining weight as a byproduct of my schedule, but I've accepted it and will just kick my own ass in a few weeks. I have awesome friends and I've spent the last few weekends with my family and "family". I still marvel a little at how great it is to make my own schedule without someone putting me down or judging my choices. I hope that goes away soon, but whatever. :)

Happy Thanksgivukkah!

Thanksgiving Reflections

So I survived Thanksgiving with my family. I was a little nervous that it would be rough because it's my first holiday solo, but I think it went well. I definitely had a headache all day on Thursday. It might have been stress related, I couldn't help but think about T and his family a little going into such a major holiday. I have to remember it's not my responsibility anymore. This might have been catalyzed by a facebook app glitch showing me his FB profile pic on Wednesday afternoon. His new profile picture is of him and his new girlfriend. He looks thin which worries me a little, but also it hurt a bit because he never seemed to want to have me in his profile picture. I managed to delete or archive the conversation and cursed out the facebook app for once again sucking.

My mom and I talked about it a little on Thursday afternoon while we were sitting around in between dinner prep activities. It helped to talk about it a little, even though I didn't want to acknowledge the situation at all. I think I forget that I'm still healing a little. True to form, I'm just anxious to be at the next step. 

Overall, the weekend was relaxing. I spent a lot of time with my family and caught up on a bulk of my homework. My dad has become very affectionate in his retirement which is cute. I showed him how to change electrical outlets and he was really excited. My sister's room's outlets were horribly worn out, so we decided to do those right away. Our plan is to replace all the switches and outlets in the house while I'm home for a week and a half in December. My parents have slowly been fixing up the house and now with white molding everywhere, it's time to replace the old almond colored hardware. My dad was actually excited when he figured out that the porch light wasn't working properly because the switch was worn out. My mom is excited to have the switches match and have them just look nicer in general.

Got home late. I feel like my apartment is a mess, but that's ok. Managed to work out twice over the weekend, so hopefully the 4 pieces of pumpkin pie, and 3 pieces of chocolate cake won't follow me around for too long.